Technology

It's an amazing thing. One day we're typing in each others' information and the next day, we're scanning their bar codes. Stay in touch...

Busted!

Citizens of the United States (and for any other law creating / abiding nation) beware! Those who have been entrusted to uphold and enforce the law are perpetrators themselves...

Call me cautious, but I am a law abiding citizen. (I even recently had a discussion with my girlfriend who questioned my hesitation to make a u-turn.) Call me lucky, because the few times I have fractured a law or two, I have not been caught. Ok, so I've broken more laws than a few, so I guess I AM lucky. But then again, so are the numerous police officers that I have seen get away with breaking what they are supposed to be defending. BUSTED! I would love to make a citizens' arrest. Is that even possible? Does that even exist?

Part I
As I was walking down Broadway on Wednesday this week, I began to smell an uncanny odor wafting in my direction. To my surprise, there it was.

A large pile of manure! And where was it located? Why of course, beneath the steed of one of New York's finest.

Have you ever heard of curbing your dog? Shouldn't the same rules apply to horses? Or to any other animals that are allowed to walk the streets with other pedestrians? Why do those horses that draw the carriages around Central Park have a trough under their asses? They should be able to relieve themselves wherever they want, no? Are police horses exempt from the law or something? That would make them similar to Diplomats and other law "enforcement" I suppose, huh?

Part II
According to the National Safety Council, it is estimated that "more than 100 million people use cell phones while driving." In fact, 81% of the public admit to this. And of the now 6 states (see which ones) that completely ban the use of handheld cell phone use while driving, I happen to live and work in 2 of them. AND, on almost a regular basis, I have watched a police car drive by operated by an officer ON A CELL PHONE! I find it amazing that the same officer can be having a conversation on his/her cell phone while driving, and later on that day have the guts to pull someone over for the same misdeed.

Part III
Now this probably pisses me off the most. Have you ever approached a stoplight at an intersection behind a police vehicle? What's the first thing that crosses your mind? He can't pull you over because you're behind him, right? Actually, my first reaction is, "where are my handcuffs?" Why? Because you know that 1 in 10 (hey, I'm giving them the benefit) will flip the wild police lights on, run the red, and flip them off once they cross the intersection. You know what I'm talking about. Did that traffic camera get that on tape?


How do these law enforcers get away with it? Are these people not subject to the same penalties, if not worse? Would another officer pull over one of his brethren in the name of the law? Can standard citizens take action? Thought provoking isn't it?

Time...

...I've been passing time... doing TAX RETURNS!

So much so that I've been lagging on my reading front. So I decided to make a quick run to my neighborhood Barnes and Noble to pick up these:

Remember when...

...your mom used to tell you that having a pet was like having a kid? She wasn't kidding...Taking care of this little guy is a lot of work.

Rice! I blame you...

...for the years of being overweight.

...for the Halloween that I had to be a fat red Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

...for that one time at freshman basketball practice when the varsity captain called me E-Honda.

...for being made fun of as you clung on to my shirt hours after a hearty meal.

...for making me laugh upon finding you.

...for giving me the strength to proceed.

...for providing sustenance to my family and friends.

...for being a staple to my people.

...for never failing to satiate.

...for being...

Welcome to the Club! Members Only.

Of home ownership that is...

Don't think for a minute that once you sign the documents and take the keys for the first time that you've become a "home owner." They tried and true test to become a true home owner is if you don't shed a tear at the first signs of any major household problem. I'm not talking about your power going out. Nor do I think that a clogged toilet or sink could even be considered. I'm talking about broken pipes, water damage, flooding...things of that nature.

Speaking from experience? Yes.

For those of you who have been privileged enough to experience what I'm talking about, thanks for the warning (sarcasm).

It's a different thing when you have to deal with these types of problems on your own. YOU have to clean it. YOU have to find the cause. YOU have to take time out of your busy schedule to call a plumber and get estimates. YOU have to shoulder the cost for the repair.

Gone are the days of daddy or mommy helping clean or diagnosing the problem. Long gone are the times of cost free living. It's your burden now.

But oh, these are the joys of living on your own and the fruits of your labor to gain equity. I'm just saying...

By no means is this a complaint though. You can say that it's more like a warning for any of you looking to make a purchase sometime soon. And believe me, you'll love your house no matter what happens. Just prepare yourself to add a whole new level of responsibility to your list and put a check mark next to life's accomplishments.

My New York City Pedestrian Traffic Rules

1. Keep right, Pass left. Slow moving traffic please put on your hazard lights.

2. Signal when changing lanes.

3. Look left and right before crossing street or turning.

4. Do not stop in the middle of the sidewalk. If you need to carry a conversation, step to the side. 

5. Do not make sudden stops.

6. Do not make u-turns in the middle of the sidewalk. Pull over to the side, look, and proceed  with about-face.

7. Do not cut people off. But if you must, then maintain passing speed when attempting to cut off. 

8. If you must smoke, please walk in the street. That is where tar belongs. 

9. Look both ways when attempting to cross the street. If there are no cars, cross. There is no need to wait for the pedestrian signal to tell you to "walk."

10. Jay-walking is permitted and is encouraged when you are late for work. 

11. In the event that someone is running in your direction, please clear the way. They are either in a really big rush, or attending to an emergency. 

12. Please look in all directions before you spit out your gum. 

13. If a taxicab beeps at you, give them the finger and tell them "you're walking here." Pedestrians always have the right of way. 

14. In the event that you see a very attractive person, proceed with caution. Slowly manuever to the right and stop on the side, turn, and gawk. 

15. Please keep a safe following distance. 

Learn these and you're golden when walking the streets of NY...